Money and relationships don’t always go hand in hand. Making you wonder if you and your partner are speaking the same financial language. If money is causing stress in your relationship, you are not alone. 31% of couples say that the biggest cause of stress in their relationship is money. We want to help you communicate better with your partner about money. On this episode, Allison Berger joins us to discuss four common financial disagreements in couples. Listen in to learn how to better your relationship with your partner and with money.
You spent how much on that?
Does one person in your relationship spend more than the other? Oftentimes one partner feels that the other spends too much. This is so common since opposites attract in relationships. Our partners help to balance us out. So what can you do if you feel that your partner spends too much? Communication is key. It is important to be on the same team and make sure that you have the same financial goals. You can create a financial plan to keep you in check and keep you both on the same page. This way you can see if you are meeting your financial goals. Having a financial advisor can also be a great way to get a 3rd party’s view on the situation. The advisor can help take an objective opinion when there are arguments about spending that arise.
Saving and investing takes coordination
One spouse generally enjoys security more than the other and the other prefers to spend more money. When you have a financial plan in place, you can coordinate how best to save and invest for your specific objectives. Paying yourself first is a great first step. Automating your savings makes life so much easier. One way to easily increase your savings is by doing so when your income goes up. You can simply increase your 401K contribution whenever you get a raise. Another way to save more is to look for opportunities to increase your savings. If you pay off a car you can use the money you used to pay each month for savings instead.
Deciding on how much risk to take with Investments
The most common question we hear centers around people wondering if they will have enough? To best answer this question, the amount of risk in your strategy will play a tremendous role. Everyone has a different risk tolerance when it comes to investing. Sometimes one partner prefers to take risky investments and the other prefers to play it safe. Once again communication is key to understanding how your partner feels about investing. First, you should think about what your financial goals are as a couple. Open communication and education can help you understand each other’s feelings about risk tolerance. Learning about investments can also help you feel more comfortable about investing.
Differing philosophies on debt
Debt can be an unnerving issue for some causing some to lose sleep at night. Understanding your feelings on debt as well as your partner’s feelings can help defuse arguments before they even pop up. People have different feelings about money based on past experiences. Often our concerns about money manifest in childhood. Learning both why you and your partner feel the way you do about money can help you better communicate your needs and come up with a financial plan that you can both agree upon.
Outline of This Episode
- [1:27] The biggest cause of arguments in relationships is money
- [3:22] What are the biggest disagreements with couples related to money?
- [6:12] Does one person in the relationship think the other is too spendy?
- [12:14] How much to save and invest and how much to spend?
- [17:33] What is the best practice on the difference in risk in investment strategy?
- [21:18] There can be a lot of emotions around debt
Resources & People Mentioned
- VIDEO – Finding Confidence in Conflict – TED Talk
- BOOK – The Next Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley
- BOOK – The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- Article – Can Finance and Romance Go Hand in Hand?
- Article – Navigating the Financial Side of a Relationship – NY Times
- Article – Millions of Couples Keep This a Secret – Marketwatch
- Article – Why Couples Should See a Financial Adviser Before They Get Married – WSJ
Connect With Chad and Mike
- Connect on Twitter @csmithraleigh@TeamFSINC
- Follow Financial Symmetry on Facebook